Making A New Choice


It’s a pattern for me to go right to bed right when I have a certain symptom. I close the blinds, pull the covers over my head, tighten up my body and resist, resist, resist.


Being in bed makes my limbic system happy because I’m safe in bed, I’m in avoidance and isolation and that means nothing can harm me. But what it’s really doing is strengthening old pathways.

One day it finally occurred to me, what if I made a new choice? What if I decide to do something different rather than going straight to bed?

I could go outside, sit by a tree and put my feet in the grass. I could listen to an uplifting podcast or take a bath. Even if I just take 3 slow deep breaths and relax the tension in my body I’m making a new choice and I’m pruning away at those old unhealthy pathways.

I’m just now starting to work at breaking this pattern and it feels good to finally be conscious of what I was doing. I now know that it’s a form of avoidance and isolation, which are both behavioral patterns of the past and moving forward, I will make a conscious effort to redirect and say “Even though I’m feeling this way, I’m going to make a new choice”.

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